Waiting in this place, with the windows open, and a nice breeze coming into our home. I love our home. It's been a place of peace, safety, love, and acceptance. It has also been a place of tears, disappointment, grief, and discouragement. All of those make it real and are a part of me. I usually don't look forward to the fall. I hang onto summer with everything I have, but I am looking forward to fall this year, more than ever. I am looking forward to welcoming the new season that awaits Jason, myself and our family. Our family is so looking forward to having Estella. In the words of Sarah, "I just can't wait anymore!!" I hear you Sarah! I am even more impatient than you, believe me.
Yet in the waiting I try to make the most of each moment. I try to recognize this beautiful life, growing inside of me, developing as she should be. I look up at the blue skies and am thankful for the sunshine, the absolutely beautiful summer we've had, and for my four children I already have. I'm thankful for my amazing husband and all the ways my life has been enriched through him. I realize I have more than others, and am grateful for what there is. And, my life still feels incomplete, so I look forward to holding my little girl in my arms. I look forward to life after Estella is here.
Today I finished the paintings for her room. There are 3 small canvases. The middle one is a star and the two outside ones are angel wings. They are hung above her crib. She's almost here; I can feel that.
I am also looking forward to not being pregnant. Pregnancy is grueling at times. I know my sleep will be interrupted, but I am really looking forward to not being pregnant, and recovering from having her. I am looking forward to not waddling around in 85 degree weather, and feeling the extra weight on my joints...that'll be so nice! I am looking forward to having Estella here with me on the weekends while Jason is working...there are just many things in store for me that I am looking forward to!
